I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
