can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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