It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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