i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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