I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
