I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
