I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
