if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
