so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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