Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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