ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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