i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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