I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
