I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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