Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
