If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
