I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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