so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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