Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
