That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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