This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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