two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
