I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
