plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
