All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
