you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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