never play flip cup with pint glasses
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
