I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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