How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
