Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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