She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
