But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
