Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
