SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
