So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
