Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
