i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
