I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
