Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
