belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
