The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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