garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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