he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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