nutella sex= disaster
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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