he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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