everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
nutella sex= disaster
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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