Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think i have two assholes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
