I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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