Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
