I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
