i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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